Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
