no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
