dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.