We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
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All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
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i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam