Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?