So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
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There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
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MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face