its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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