flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize