check it out our google latitudes are spooning
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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