smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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