420 ftw
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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