Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
