Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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