Define "chronic" masturbator.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
