And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
