i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
