Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
