I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
