ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
