so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
