I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
sarcasm needs its own font
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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