Porn is love you can see.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
