drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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