omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Boobs are out for the taking
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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