I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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