also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
