Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
