Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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