Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Two words: blizzard sex
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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