Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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