Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
