So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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