Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize