we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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