What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
