Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
