im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
