4 words: hood of his car
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
