Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
