So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
As shirtless as possible
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
