You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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