i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
