Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
