zippers are such a cool invention
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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