They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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