Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize