This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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