This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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