But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
