so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
