Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I party with great urgency now.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
