she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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