If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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