I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize