No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
