How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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