i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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