No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
