Me. At least after what I've been through.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
